


Not Alone

by 1thousandminus7



Category: Naruto
Genre: Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, set immediately after the kazekage retrieval arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 16:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21019151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1thousandminus7/pseuds/1thousandminus7
Summary: To lose a friend breaks your heart. To lose the only person in your life who has ever understood you can break your very soul. So it stands to reason that getting him back is the only way for a hurt like that to heal, and for one to realise that he can never face such a loss again.





	Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I could be doing degree work. I could be writing for kinktober. But I do not control the inspiration fairy and today she struck me so I had to.

It wasn’t the first time Naruto had experienced death, not by a long shot, but… The deaths he’d suffered had occurred when he was little. Too little to really have… registered it.

Some part of him had known, long before Sakura had risen to her feet and given him the shake of her head, some part of him wondered how long these people would let him entertain his delusions. Gaara had been dead since they’d found him in the cave, and who knows how long it had been before then. He’d seen the way Gaara’s body had failed to relax in the grip of Deidara’s bird’s mouth. His clones had carried him, stiff and cold, all this way, and still it hadn’t been until that confirmation that it had really hit, and he’d broken.

And then Granny Chiyo… What she’d done was amazing. A genuine, bona-fide _miracle_. Naruto would never forget her, would never forget her sacrifice.

The walk back to Sunagakure was slow. Gaara’s body was still… wrong, somehow, muscles locked up and trembling. Naruto had been able to feel the intensity of his shaking as he half-carried him between himself and Kankuro. But the warmth with which they were received made it all worth it.

Gaara’s childhood had been achingly lonely, full of pain and suffering. He’d come so far, to have his whole village cheering for him like this. They paid their respects to Chiyo, let her be taken to be buried, and helped Gaara back to his quarters for the night. They knew they’d have to leave in the morning, but for now, they all needed to sleep.

“Alright!” Naruto beamed, saluting as they set Gaara down on his bed, and standing up straight. “You’ve had a long day, get some rest. You need it!”

Gaara just regarded him quietly for a long moment, pale eyes unreadable, and then said softly, “Kankuro.”

Kankuro seemed to understand what he meant, and nodded. He turned away and clapped Naruto on the shoulder.

“Thank you.” He said quietly, and then headed out. Naruto moved to follow, but a hand caught his wrist, stopping him.

“Hm?” He turned back to Gaara, surprised. “Something up?”

“I feel wrong.” Gaara’s voice was low. He was looking off at nothing in particular, eyes unfocused. Naruto immediately panicked.

“Are you sick? Should I get a healer? Should I get Sakura?”

“No.” The word was a command that brokered no discussion. “I do not mean it like that.” He looked up, focusing on Naruto, looking… confused? “How long has it been?”

“Since you were kidnapped?” Naruto sensed where this was going, and sat down beside him. Gaara’s hand didn’t leave his wrist. His fingers were cold. “Four days, give or take.”

“Hm.” Gaara’s eyes cast downwards. “I don’t remember much of it.”

“Did it… hurt?” Naruto asked quietly. “Losing Shukaku?”

“Yes.” That much he was sure of. It had felt like his very soul was being ripped from his body. But he was no stranger to pain. More concerning was…

“You and Kankuro… back there. I heard him mention…” Gaara’s fingers tightened on his wrist, just for a moment. “How bad was it?” It must have been, for her to have exhausted herself to the point of death to heal him. Naruto’s eyes widened for a moment, and his arm twisted in Gaara’s grip so he could take his hand instead.

“Gaara… You don’t know?” His lips pressed together. He had a feeling, but… “You… died.”

The silence that followed the word was weighed down with the gravity of what had happened to him.

“For how long?” He asked, suddenly hyperaware of his own breathing.

“A whole day. Maybe longer… we don’t know. You were dead when we found you.”

“…I feel wrong.” He said again.

“That’ll go away.” Naruto assured him, though he honestly had no idea if it would. “You’re just healing.”

“Naruto…” Gaara’s fingers twitched. “Why do you keep saving me?”

“Wh- Because I care about you!” Naruto’s face lit up in another bright smile. “And, because, well, no offence but you keep needing saving.”

Gaara looked up at him, and his chest felt warm. “Stay with me.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Naruto’s smile wavered, and fell.

“You know I can’t. Konoha needs us.”

_I need you. _

“Just for a little while.”

Naruto sighed, and let go of Gaara’s hand so he could wrap his arm about his shoulders, pulling him closer. “I would, if I didn’t have things I need to do. After all… how can I become Hokage if I never go back home?” He smiled again, but it was hollow. Gaara’s hands curled into fists in his lap. Of course Naruto wouldn’t choose him. Naruto huffed, and then Gaara was being pulled into a proper hug, a good, tight one. Naruto buried his face in the side of Gaara’s neck, breath warm on his skin. He smelled… bad. The sickly-sweet, cloying smell of death still clung to him. That only made him hug tighter. “I’ll stay in contact, promise.” He assured him. “And I’ll visit as soon and as often as I can.”

A selfish urge rose up in Gaara’s chest, surrounding the heart that ached from having sat still for hours. He turned to Naruto, pulling back to look him in the eye, and then he gave him a clumsy, stiff kiss. Naruto froze, eyes going wide, and immediately Gaara withdrew, pulling out of his hold and looking down at the hands in his lap.

“Gaara…”

“Get some sleep.” The tone in his voice had changed as fast as his body language, becoming cold and shut-off.

“Gaar-”

“Go.” He burned with shame, hating himself for wanting.

“I can stay tonight.” Naruto told him. Gaara didn’t move. Didn’t dare. “I can stay here tonight, with you. It would be cruel to expect you to be alright on your own after… what happened.”

The truth was that Naruto didn’t want to leave him, either. He’d seen him dead, thought he’d lost him forever. That was sure to haunt his nightmares.

Gaara’s jaw clenched for a moment, and his hands uncurled just a fraction. “You’re offering… to sleep here?”

“Mm.” Naruto nodded firmly. “Gaara… I care about you.” He reached out, touched his face, made him look at him. “You got something you want to say to me?”

“Must I?” Gaara murmured. “Surely you know. What it is to be alone your whole life, to believe you are a monster, only to find someone who shows you that you can be loved… lovable, despite everything.”

“Hey now…” Naruto rubbed the back of his head, blushing and putting on an awkward smile. “All I did was offer to be friends.”

“You were the first. That act changed my life. Does it really surprise you that… I want more? I am a selfish being, after all.”

“You’re not selfish, Gaara. You gave everything to protect your people. You’re kind and strong and brave, you’re exactly the kind of leader I want to be someday.” His smile softened, and he offered his hand once more. “You know, I’ve had crushes in the past…” He looked away and murmured abashedly, “Still kinda do… But that’s a kid crush. Sakura’s pretty ‘n all, but she’s always had eyes for Sasuke anyway, and… She doesn’t get it. Not like you do. I don’t ever wanna lose you again, Gaara. I nearly lost it ‘cuz of you. I was just so… _angry_, so scared.” He leaned forwards, and Gaara froze when Naruto’s forehead met his, hand on the back of his head in an intimate gesture. “I think I love you.”

“…Don’t play with me, Naruto.” Gaara’s voice shook.

“I would never.” Naruto said firmly, and those fingers knotted in his hair as this time he was the one who initiated the kiss. Neither knew what they were doing, but just being close felt good, and when they broke it Naruto wrapped him in another close hug. “Never scare me like that again… Please…”

“…Never.” Gaara murmured, burying his face in Naruto’s neck. “Never again.”

When they lay down together, Naruto found himself resting his head on Gaara’s chest, just to hear his heart beating. Just to reassure him that he was still alive. In the morning, they would have to go their separate ways. Gaara would resume his post as Kazekage, and Naruto would go back to his personal quest to save his childhood rival, Sasuke. But that night neither wanted to be alone, and so they slept side by side, hands never once leaving each other under the sheets. Life can be painful, and lonely, and difficult, but having someone who understands can make all the difference in the world.


End file.
